如何交际才能听起来不像傻瓜一样
纽约——交际机会对于任何专业人士而言都是非常重要的，而对于小企业主来讲，良好的人际关系往往能够带来将企业推向下一阶段的新的供应商、热切的顾客和企业合作伙伴。
如果你在鸡尾酒会上仅有2个小时与人见面交流的机会，你的第一个念头或许就是快点达到现场，竭尽所能对地位高的出席者进行各种电梯游说。但是表现的过于强势或太像推销员都不能取得良好的效果。我们与交际专家进行了交流，他们表示，让5到10个人对你留下好印象比发出30张名片更重要。以下是交际专家提供的进行卓越交际最有价值的5条建议：
如何不让自己听起来像傻瓜一样进行有效交际？
肯代尔大学商学院（Kendall College’s School of Business）助理教授Aurora Reinke表示，这听起来像陈词滥调一样，但是确实是有几分道理的，“这不是仅仅关于你个人的。”
Reinke表示：“成为一个企业家的确有自我的成分。首先在冒险之前你必须抱有热情。”
她表示，最终，任何企业家想做的都是分享他们的想法，但是这种魔力的一部分就是要让他人理解自己所说、能够倾听并参与到对话中。
她笑道：“没有人会像一个自我陶醉者一样喋喋不休。”
企业家行政公司Accelerence 任事股东Mike Shook表示，如上所述，完全做自己与话题参与不够是有区别的。
Shook表示：“你没必要过度推销，但是你必须非常热情同时不失谦虚。如果你自己对此都不热情的话，又怎么要求其他人对其感兴趣呢？”
Shook表示：“你应该给与你交流的人留下你对自己所做的事情抱有极大的热情的想法。让他们知道你对一个现实问题有着显而易见的解决方法，你拥有才能和资质能够将一个有趣的想法转变成一个很好的业务。”
公关公司The Boreland Group老板和创始人Jennefer Witter表示，与刚见面的人打交道是一种微妙的艺术。
Jennefer表示：“露骨地推销自己有可能会适得其反。最重要的是认真倾听讲话的人，判断他正在做的事情，并发现他在哪些方面需要帮助。当然，交换名片也是一个好主意，但是等到对话结束后吧。一定要确保自己先问对方要名片，显示自己对他们很感兴趣。”
当你特别想对自己遇到的每一个人谈论自己的业务时，你应该做什么呢？
社会媒体咨询公司Silverback Social首席执行官和创始人Chris Dessi表示：“如果你特别想谈论它，这意味着你对其抱有极大的热情。”
Chris表示：“我相信，如果你是一个小企业主，那么工作过程中你一定会遇到一些逸闻趣事，这会是非常适合谈论的话题。只要你不是自吹自擂，人们就能够感受到你的活力和热情。分享热情绝对是一个非常棒的主意。”
Shook提醒道，注意不要分享太多的逸闻趣事。
Shook表示：“你说出的每一句话不应该是关于自己的业务的。与他人见面之前，先准备三到五个问题。在询问他们之后，他们会非常乐意回答你，‘让我跟你分享一下我正在做的事情吧。’”
Witter表示，当然所有良好的人际交流都取决于谈话背景。如果你在一个非商务活动上，注意管住自己不要谈论自己的工作，除非这与话题相关。
Witter解释道：“你没必要时时刻刻都推销自己。要了解自己的听众。时间非常宝贵——所以当你谈论自己的业务时，确保你的听众是对此有需要的人。”
在鸡尾酒会上有永远都不应该谈论的话题吗？
Dessi表示：“永远永远不要谈论钱或意外之财的话题。记住，有时不谈工作仅喝一杯鸡尾酒是非常合适的。”
Shook表示，通常情况下，商务会谈都应该是非常积极热烈的，而且你也不应该忽略这样一个事实，你所说的所有事情最后都可能出现在明天的报纸上。
Witter表示，无论场合如何，有关宗教、政治或公司问题的话题都应该避免谈到。
Witter表示：“为什么要避免对可能对自己公司的服务感兴趣的人士谈到自己公司业务的秘密呢？大嘴巴的经理并不能激发人们对他的信任。管住你的嘴巴，把谈话重点放在积极的事情上。”
你应该经常说的事情是什么？
Dessi表示：“你应该经常分享你的热情和你做这些的原因。想想自己是为什么而奋斗，永远不要害怕与他人交流这些。”
Reinke表示，你也应该抓住你所做的事情和你的公司所代表的服务的关键，品牌和背景都非常关键。
Reinke表示：“企业家很容易投入在自己的想法中，忘记自己谈话的目的是什么，当遇到新的人后，他们又需要从基础的说起。就像你在谈话过程中参与进来，没有人会花时间带着你跟上他们的速度。”
总之，永远不要忘记那些有魔力的话：
Shook表示：“要总是对他人说‘谢谢！’”
当你想要拓展自己的业务时，你参与其中的最佳规则是什么？
Shook表示：“要总是谦逊有礼，不要主导整个对话，不要让人感觉像是在‘开庭’一样，要拥有让人们主动询问自己业务的能力。”
就像约会一样，如果有打破拘谨活跃气氛的话题，那么专业交流就会进行的更加顺利。
Witter表示：“以一个简单的问题开始，如‘你是如何得知此次活动的？’或者，找把椅子，坐在一群人当中，加入进去介绍自己。如果不太成功的话就离开。当你在和他人交流时，想要以后继续联系的话，就说‘见到您我很高兴。但是我现在不得不离开了，我想我们应该下次再继续讨论这一话题。能给我一张您的名片吗？’”
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How to Network Without Sounding Like a Jerk
NEW YORK (MainStreet) — Networkingopportunities are great for any professional, but for small-business owners,the right connections can bring pathways to new suppliers, eager customers and corporatepartnerships that can take a business to the next level.
If you’ve got only a couple of hours ata cocktail party to meet and greet, your first impulse may be to work the roomquickly, giving as many elevator pitches as you can to well-heeled attendees.But coming off too aggressive or overly salesman-like can be a big turnoff. Wechecked in with networking experts who say that making a good impression withfive or 10 people is far more important than throwing your business card at 30.Check out their top five tips for networking excellence.
How do you network effectively without sounding like a jerk?
Even though it may be cliche, AuroraReinke, assistant professor at Kendall College’s School of Business, saysthere’s truth to the adage, “It’s not about you.”
“There is an ego element to being anentrepreneur,” Reinke says. “You have to be a little in love with yourself toeven take the risk in the first place.”
Ultimately, what any entrepreneur wantsto do is share the magic they bring to the table, she says, but part of thatmagic is being understanding of others and capable of listening and engaging indialogue.
“Nobody likes a narcissist,” she laughs.
With that said, there is a fine linebetween being full of oneself and not being vocal enough, says Mike Shook,managing partner of entrepreneurial executive firm Accelerence.
“You don’t want tobe overly promotional, but you must be enthusiastic while remembering theimportance of humility,” Shook says. “If you are not excited about what you aredoing, how can anyone else be?”
“People you’veinteracted with should be left with the impression that you are very excitedabout what you are doing. They should know that your solution to a real problemis obvious and that you have the credentials and aptitude to transform aninteresting idea into a good business,” Shook says.
Networking withpeople you've just met is a subtle art, Jennefer Witter, owner and founder ofPR firm The Boreland Group.
“Blatantly sellingoneself can backfire,” she says. “The most important thing to do is to listento the person and gauge what he or she is doing or where specifically he or shewants or needs assistance. Yes, it is a good idea to trade business cards, butwait until the end of the conversation. And make sure you ask for that person’sbusiness card first, to demonstrate your interest in them.”
What should you dowhen you're tempted to mention your business to everyone you meet?
“If you're tempedto talk about it, that means you're passionate about it,” says Chris Dessi, theCEO and founder of social media consultancy Silverback Social.
“I'm certain thatif you're a small-business owner there is going to be a funny anecdote or issueyou're dealing with as a small-business owner that will be appropriate to talkabout,” he says. “As long as you're not bragging, people feed off energy andpassion. Sharing passion is never a bad idea.”
But be carefulthat you don’t share too many anecdotes, Shook cautions.
“Clearly everyword out of your mouth should not be about your business. Have three to fivequestions prepared that you will ask people you meet. After you’ve inquiredabout them, they’ll be much more open to you saying, ‘Let me share a little bitabout what I’m doing,’” Shook says.
Of course all goodnetworking depends on the setting. If you’re at a non-business event, hold offspeaking about your business unless it is relevant to the conversation, Wittersays.
“You don’t need to sell yourself all the time.Know your audience. Time is precious — so when you do speak of your business,make sure it is to an audience that has a need,” she explains.
Are there somethings you should never talk about at a cocktail party?
“Never, ever, ever talkabout money problems or windfalls,” Dessi says. “And remember that sometimesit’s nice to just have a cocktail without any business talk.”
In general,business discussions should be positive, and you should never lose sight of thefact that everything you say might end up in tomorrow’s newspaper, Shookcautions.
In case it’s notalways obvious, Witter says topics including religion, politics or problemswith your company should be avoided no matter the setting.
“Why air yourbusiness’ dirty laundry to a group of people who may be interested in yourservices? A loose-lipped executive does not inspire confidence. Zip it upand focus on the positive,” she says.
What are somethings you should always say?
“You should alwayscommunicate your passion and say why you do what you do. Think about what youstand for, and never be afraid to communicate that,” Dessi says.
You should alsotouch on the crux of what you do and what your company stands for. Branding andcontext are critical, Reinke says.
“It’s easy forentrepreneurs to be so absorbed in their ideas and the execution that theyforget when meeting someone new, they need to start with the basics. It’s likewalking into the middle of a conversation and no one takes time to bring you upto speed,” she says.
Above all, neverforget those magic words:
“Always say ‘thankyou’,” Shook says.
What are the best rules of engagement when you want to promote your business?
“Always be humble,don’t dominate the conversation, do not be perceived as ‘holding court,’ andearn the right to have someone ask you about your business,” Shook says.
As with dating,professional networking can go a lot smoother with a little ice-breaker to warm up the conversation.
“Go for a simple question, such as ‘How did you hear of this event?’ Or, pull up a chair and sitdown with a group and introduce yourself. If it doesn’t click, leave,” Wittersays. “And if you want to move on when you’re speaking with someone, say “Itwas so lovely meeting you. I have to step away, but let’s definitely continuethe conversation. Can I have your card?”
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